Exactly!

by Geri

To apologize for being a slow writer, I bring you…

this hilarious Brookegate aftermath video by DocCovington which I found on You Tube. I don’t even need to write about it, she took the words right out of my mouth. One can’t help but shout “exactly!” three times after watching this.

What’s supposed to be a major article and the never ending breed of stupid

by Geri

I really want to post a massive article today, like the one I did on Brookegate, Prop 8 and the Worst.Lesbian.Week.Ever., because it’s a Monday and I don’t have classes. Sadly, I already spent half of the day in the hospital because of lumps forming at the back of my head. What I thought were tumor spots were actually just my lymphatic nodes, so nothing to worry about for me.

So what’s up? other than, and I quote from Hairspray,  a whole lot of ugly coming from a never ending breed of stupid (ABC), first things first. I found this video at AfterEllen. It’s MSBNC talk show host Keith Olbermann, a straight guy speaking to other straight people about Prop 8. He is speaking for us.

A lot of straight people have spoken up in our defense too. If you click the AfterEllen link above, you’ll see what they have to say, and they’re really really nice things.

On to the plans.

This week, I’ll be busying myself with how to get more blog traffic. I’ll keep writing as long as people are reading, even if it’s just three people. Pero mas masaya kung mas marami diba. Plus, I’d love to hear from people from different places. Last night, I was thrilled to find out that Dr. Janice Covington, the one who wrote Don’t Bullshit the Hahn, commented on my Brookegate article. So people, if you’re reading, please comment and tell me how the hell did you chance upon this blog, so that I know which of my actions are getting people to view my posts. And, if you can suggest on ways to explode blog traffic, I’ll be grateful in advance.

What I’ve been doing:

• Blog hopping and linking my site on people’s tagboards.
• Sticking post it’s with my url on the backdoors of comfort room cubicles in malls and UP Diliman.
• Advertising my blog on the Philippine Collegian.
• Researching, of course, on how to get more blog traffic.

Other plans

Unlike the Department of Agriculture, I do have plans. First off, Mondays will be massive article days, as massive as the first post but not always as major (for I hope that the whole lot of ugly coming from a never ending breed of stupid don’t go b*shitting us every week). I’d like to think for now that I’ll start of with a Willow and Tara article next Monday, or how hot and attractive Brooke Smith is, I don’t know yet, but what I do know is, it will begin next Monday. Or, if not, I’ll still write something about my sorry excuse for not writing (like tumor cells that are really just swollen lymph nodes).

Also, I’ll be launching So You Don’t Have To sometime this week. So You Don’t Have To would be me watching and reading any lesbian or les-curious work in popular culture I manage to get my hands on in ways that are legal or acceptably legal in our country, so you don’t have to. I’ll write the synopsis and review it for you, and basically tell you if a film, or book is worth your leaves-seeing eyes. But don’t listen to me, do watch them anyway, they’re rare and precious.

Whenever and if ever this blog gets huge traffic, I’ll be inviting guest writers (just my les-curious friends, I’ll set my gaydar to a maximum). It’ll be nice to read about their take on queer stuff, stuff that’s up to them.

I still have other plans, but I don’t want to be someone who announces these to the world only to get disappointed on the end if they do not materialize.

The whole lot of ugly coming from the never ending breed of stupid.

If you’ve been reading the Erica Hahn threads over there at ABC’s site, or are keeping up-to-date with the Callica  LJ Community, you’ll probably know by now that Brooke/Erica has been given the nickname Cake. No need to get confused when I make dessert references.

So, who has watched the last episode of Grey’s Anatomy? Rephrase. Who has managed to watch the last episode of That-which-must-not-be-named? Certainly not me. I have only seen the scenes in which Erica was mentioned in You Tube. So Callie’s been missing the Cake, I’m not going to say her Cake for she did a really good job of taking Erica for granted. Hey Callie, it’s not just you! We’ve all been missing our Cake!

After meeting the new Head of Cardiothoracics, Cristina begins to yearn for Erica, hell, if even Cristina wants Erica back, that is really saying something.

The whole breaking down at the OR thing:LAME. Even Sara Ramirez’ Julliard graduate prowess was not able to save it. That is really saying something.

The only good thing from what I’ve watched is Cristina finding out about Erica and Callie, and it’s not the writing, it’s Sandra Oh and her under-used character.

I avoided watching the show, hence, I can’t make an informed opinion but from what I’ve heard from Callica and non-Callica shippers alike, the show was not half-bad, it’s going down the dumps (does victory dance).

Also, here’s an excerpt from Nurse Debbie’s blog back there at the enemy’s website:

Nurse Debbie

Two questions?  Um, what happened to Hahn?  And, what happened to Hahn?  She was here and then she wasn’t.  I know that she was a little peeved at the whole Izzie/Denny “incident” and that she was a lot peeved at Callie for not taking her side in wanting to report Izzie but to just leave?  Walk out?  Especially on a relationship is just crazy.  I thought Callie took it pretty well until she broke down in the OR when her patient died.

I just want the kid to have a break.  Enough with her getting hurt.  Hahn was obviously not adult enough for the relationship.  Come on people.  You just walk out on a relationship when your partner doesn’t side with you???? Who does that???  Hahn should be prepared to walk out on relationships for the rest of her life if that’s the case.  I wish her well and hope that she continues to save lives with her amazing talent.  I also hope that she just grows up enough to sustain a relationship that lasts more than five minutes.

Three words. Nope, three letters (It’s not ABC, though it is synonymous). WTF?! So Erica is the childish half of the couple? Since when has running off whenever your partner gets emotional, screwing Mark Sloan just to prove a theory and asking a man-whore for sex lessons instead of talking to your girlfriend been the adult thing to do? Callie Torres, the mature half of Callica. Yup. In an alternate dimension where ABC produces Gay’s Anatomy, the Philippines is a developed country and I’m so so straight, I’m extremely straight.

Anyone who seriously gives a shit about the rest of her blogpost, you can tread over the dark side for a while and view it here.

What if Willow and Tara hooked up in 2008?

by Geri

In light of Brookegate (for I know that I can never stop talking about this treachery), what if Willow and Tara hooked up in 2008, in this age of tolerance, equality, social acceptance and an increasing population of lesbian characters on prime time TV?

Willow (Alyson Hannigan) and Tara (Amber Benson) of Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the first ever lesbian couple on prime time TV that involved a regular character. Willow and Tara are portrayed in the show as each other’s true love, in a relationship that spanned more than two seasons, ending with Tara’s death as she was shot by a stray bullet. They are also my favorite couple, as I will elaborate in a different article, but I suggest you do research now (You Tube, Kitten Board), because Willow and Tara is a good investment and would be your first venture into establishing your lesbo street cred.

Tara(left) and Willow(right), your passport to Lesbo Street Cred

So what if these soulmates met today and not back in the year 2000?

• Willow will screw her “person” Xander to prove that she’s not a lesbian.
• After they hook up, Tara will get emotional and tell Willow of her life as a kid; riding horses and being told by her family that her demon side will manifest when she turns 20. Willow will promptly run off to screw Xander. TWICE. On the same day, and will find out that sex with either is awesome.

Good old, loyal Xander

• They would not be naked in bed. EVER. They would refer to wear hideous nightgowns.
• Tara would not have died of a stray bullet at the end of season 6 because Amber Benson would have been fired after the seventh episode for playing a lesbian who’s not Hollywood stick thin.
• Joss Whedon, the creator of the show, would release a statement like: “Miss Amber Benson was clearly not fired for playing a lesbian as there is still another lesbian on the show named Willow Rosenberg.” which no one would actually believe, or something like: “To say that we must not fire an actress because she was playing a lesbian is as offensive to me as to say that she must stay on the show because she plays a straight, boring person.”
• GLAAD would actually back-up these statements, hoping that the show would further develop Willow’s lesbianism
• Willow and Tara’s legion of loyal fans called Kittens (I am one!) would get outraged by this and and send thousands of hate mail and boxes of barbie dolls with genuine molded plastic stamped up their asses to Joss Whedon, Marti Noxon, Mutant Enemy and UPN.

Good thing my favorite couple were stuck at the turn of the new millenium. It’s a blessing!

The Doctor is Out: Brookegate, Prop 8 and the Worst.Lesbian.Week.Ever

Nope, they're not gay, Erica, you are.

by Geri

Erica Hahn, word-class cardiothoracic surgeon, bad-ass extraordinaire and recently extremely gay doctor on the ABC series Grey’s Anatomy just walked-out of our Sapphic TV viewing nights and into oblivion, never to be heard of again.

In simpler words: The doctor came out and is now completely out of primetime TV. Or, Erica sees leaves and promptly leaves. Whatever. I can probably go on forever to describe ABC’s recent treachery but none of this can change the fact that one-half of Callica is gone without a proper send-off and the actress who played her (Brooke Smith) was axed off the show without further warning.

To teenage lesbians in the Philippines who are caught unaware of this entire drama (good for you!) I’ll recap stuff for you so that you don’t need to watch this crap of a lesbian story-line. To those watching Grey’s Anatomy on Studio 23 because of the Callica storyline, stop it, we are two episodes behind so save yourselves while you still can. Go watch the L Word or something else on Youtube.

Warning: Spoilery ahead!

I have never watched a single episode of Grey’s Anatomy before I heard of Callica on AfterEllen. I almost did when my almost step-cousin almost told me about this hit medical drama (that’s another, longer story). But we come from a place were Mulawin, Encantadia, Darna and other telefantasyas thrive, and I honestly could care less about foreign shows. So consider me snatched away from this naive and innocent TV world and into Shondaland the minute I’ve read about Callica.

So what the hell are Callica and Shondaland? and what the hell am I talking about? First things first, let me introduce you to the characters.

Calliope “Callie” Iphegnia Torres

A good game of Twister

A raven-haired beauty played by the wonderful Sara Ramirez, Callie is an ortho and one time Chief Resident at Seattle Grace Hospital. She was married and later divorced to George O’ Malley. She is known to sleep with Mark Sloan in on-call rooms whenever stressed.

Erica Hahn

Attila the Hahn

Resident Ice Princess and quite frankly my favorite character in the show, Erica Hahn, played by the legendary Brooke Smith, is one of the world’s best cardiothoracic surgeon. Not much is known of her past except that she used to wear glasses as a kid and that Izzie Stevens once stole a heart from her patient’s chest. She’s mean mostly to Cristina Yang because she reminds her of herself as an intern.

Callica

Callica was born out of a pretty whore of a man’s dirty talk. Simply put, Mark Sloan’s dirty talks of threesomes with Callie and Erica.

The Beginning of Callica

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

So that was the start of what could have been a classic lesbian love affair between two women who aren’t stick thin, Barbie doll prototypes. Shonda Rhimes, creator of Grey’s Anatomy, was excited to see how the relationship would play out in the long run as evident in this article.

When the next season started, things were awkward for both Callie and Erica. Coming face to face with each other for the first time in Season 5, Erica pretended that she was paged somewhere else and ran off without a word, Callie, meanwhile, covered her face with the newspaper she’s been reading.

and then, this happens:

I don’t know how Callie managed to calm down in front of Erica’s blue blue eyes and her gravelly, sexy voice. Is this one of the first signs of crappy lesbian writing ahead?

Later, Callie decides to confront Erica regarding the kiss they shared last season’s finale. We discover that they are both virgins on the Sapphic side. They decide that they can be scared together and promptly walk out of the hospital side by side. Sounds like a promise? Lesson No. 1, when it comes to promises of lesbo-happiness on TV, don’t get your hopes up.

Moving on. Due to Mark Sloan’s McWhoring and getting into other’s McBusiness, we find out that Callie and Erica’s relationship has moved on from the awkward stage to kissing, handholding and lots of late night gab-sessions (whatever that means). Erica had no idea how Mark was let into their dirty little secret. The Cardio Godess decides to confront Callie about it. She learns that Mark has known from the beginning since Callie confides in him. Erica does not like this idea and we learn later that Erica does not like Mark simply because he’s seen Callie naked.

The Motherland

On the fourth episode, Brave New World, Erica asks Callie out on an official date. Callie agrees but fidgets all day in anticipation. As Erica updates Callie on the time and place of their date, she gets even more nervous.

And I can totally understand. Brooke Smith’s voice as it drops an entire octave lower when she says “We’re doing this.” is the birds and the bees. If ever it had a voice, that’s what it would sound like.

Callie informs Bailey that she is going out on a date with Erica Hahn that night. She speaks of her fears using metaphors.

The look on Bailey’s face=priceless

Finally let into the hospital’s newest secret, Bailey observes Erica Hahn totally checking Callie out as the latter boards an elevator with an octogenarian.

Again. The look on Bailey’s face=priceless

After seeing Erica totally smitten with Callie, Bailey gives the Latina some advice on how to deal with the Motherland, and because teen lesbian Philippines is my audience, I won’t post a video nor discuss what in the frillin heck that is. Go figure when you’re of the right age.

Armed with advice from Bailey on how to deal with the Motherland, Callie goes out on THE date in the hottest red dress I’ve ever seen on a curvy woman’s body since I wore mine to our JS prom (hehe, yabang!). Erica and Callie talk of expectations. They decide that the slow route is the best route to the Motherland.

The Sloan Method

Lesson No.2: When two lesbians plan on taking things slow, it is most likely that they won’t. After going out on a different date, Callie and Erica finally do what Callie’s so nervous about, the Motherland. Waking up the next day, Callie realizes that she does not like it and asks resident man-whore Mark Sloan for some mentoring.

Seeing Leaves

After a night of successful trekking South of the border and up the Northern Mountains of the Motherland, Erica has a revelation in a scene that will go down the Annals of Lesbian TV History as one of the best. Brooke Smith so deserves an Emmy.

Too bad. After shooting this scene, the powers-that-be inform Brooke Smith that they cannot write for her character anymore. After another episode, she is to be let go. Which brings us to Brookegate.

Brookegate

Remember, remember the third of November

Of ABC’s treason and plot

I see no reason why ABC’s treason

Must ever be forgot

November the 3rd. A Monday. The day Dara of AfterEllen will recap last Thursday’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy. It was coincidentally the day of the freshmen enrollment at UP Diliman so I was not able to read her recaps until I got home at about 4 o’ clock in the afternoon. While waiting in line for the person who’s supposed to validate our forms, a former classmate of mine (who has been a fan of Grey’s since its debut episode) and I began to talk about the upcoming episode, Rise Up. We stood there and speculated wall will happen to Izzie (with me pretending to care), and I stood alone in my own mind and quietly speculated what will happen to Callica on the next episode (He hates Erica. We may all hate Erica but we secretly just want to be her.). The point is, I speculated. We Callica fans had been speculating with high hopes for the entire six weeks that Season 5 has ran. Little did we know that Brooke Smith has been fired from the show way back mid-September. Callica was no more even beforethe season started. Worst still, she was made the villain in her last episode when the truth is, she was the only one in Seattle Grace who thinks the way a doctor should.

The reason she was fired? Apparently, the executives at ABC began to be concerned of the explicit nature their relationship was taking. Explicit? Which couple were they talking about? Mark and Callie? Mark and Addison? Meredith and Derek? Any other couple on Grey’s except Callica? No, they weren’t talking about any of those adulterous, naked and luckily, heterosexual relationships. They were, of course, referring to Callica. The one-chaste-kiss-per-episode Callica. The talk-about-lesbian-sex-using-geographic-metaphors Callica. The have-the-most-amazing-sex-whilst-fully-clothed-in-hideous-outfits Callica. Yup, they were explicit, and John McCain won the election.

There were other factors raised up regarding why Brooke Smith was fired. Erica Hahn is simply not the Hollywood definition of beautiful. She’s not stick thin, young and dumb. She is in fact smart, kick-ass, confident and one of the best cardiothoracic surgeons out there. For Mark Sloan and other men, Erica Hahn is a challenge. You want her not because she’s beautiful (she’s not, the first time you look at her), you want her because you cannot have her, and that’s what makes Erica so attractive. Maybe it is something that the straight audience cannot appreciate. They just couldn’t handle Attila the Hahn.

The point is, whether you like Erica or not, Callica fan or not, this whole issue is ruled by something bigger than just fandom or shipping. This is about homophoba, sexism, looksism, ageism and other isms that are not nice and have no place in a world of tolerance, peace and love. Also, the way they treated Brooke Smith is unfair, unethical and unprofessional. Brooke Smith went as far as to relocate her entire family to LA because of her commitment to her job. Too bad, ABC had to let go of one of the best actresses that ever grazed their studios.

If you care. Kung nabastos ka sa ginawa nila. If you think Brooke Smith deserves to be treated better, then let ABC know what you think.

Click Here for a list of things you could do to help.

One day we all will look back on this and say: They cannot b*shit us the same way that they cannot b*shit Erica Hahn.

Prop 8

After hearing the news about Brookegate and waking up literally sick the next day, I was again faced with bad news bad news and more bad news. No, McCain did not win the election, but the rights of LGBT couples in California and several other states did not win as well. Proposition 8 passed. I just feel so bad for Ellen and Portia and the other gay couples out there who were already married or were given the hope that they can finally marry. Seems like Brookegate was a foreshadowing for what can be considered the Worst.Lesbian.Week.Ever. So much for a first post.